The New York Times had a fabulously informative article on how to vacation naked. Naked!! First thing you should know is that the word “nudist” is vulgar - that's “naturist” to you clothing-needy types.

The article listed out several free-range-epidermis vacays that sounded fun. Sun? Cruises? Buffets? Contact sports? Eww - scratch that last one.

But I think there was a typo. The writer noted that vacationers could really pack light. Pack light?? Obviously that writer is no true naturist!

At minimum, being naked requires:

Bliss FatGirlSlim
I don’t know about you gals, but even naked I’m always wearing my “cellulite knickers.” In fact, I’d take two jars of this.

Bliss Love Handler
How can a naked girl enjoy the all-you-can-eat buffets without this? It’s elastic waist pants for the clothing-optional crowd.

Clarins Self Tanning Instant Gel
I don’t have to explain the critical importance of bronzer on parts of skin that haven’t EVER seen sunlight, do I?

Sephora Sun Safety Kit
I introduced myself as a pasty-facer, which means when I’m outdoors, even my hair is SPF 30.

Too Faced Decade of Glamour Beauty Wardrobe Makeup Collection
I’m being honest here, but just because I’m stark raving madly naked from the neck down still doesn’t mean I’m ever leaving the house with no makeup on.

Rain on your wedding day, ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife….and putting on lip gloss right as you read a new article on MSNBC saying lip gloss invites skin cancer.

Behold my new definition of ironic, followed by my newly invented dance of panic. No lip gloss? Is this bad joke? Benefit just came out with a whole new line of Her Glossiness colors and I haven’t even had a chance to wear Talk To My Agent in front of actual agents. Please!

Turns out, buried at the end of the article are scads of disclaimers (aren’t they always?). Only a few doctors link the magnifying shine of gloss to increased sun exposure and therefore increased risk. Guess what? All those docs say a broad-spectrum SPF takes care of this issue.

Still, I’m sure I’m not the only girl who flipped over this, and there’s a good chance I wasn’t the only one wearing gloss when that flipping happened. So starting today, I’m launching The S.O.G. Campaign: Save Our Gloss!

Here’s why you should join: Layering extra SPF on your lovely lips is smart no matter what gloss you're wearing. Plus! Unlike the presidentials, my campaign is scented.

Willy Wonka would be so proud. Shiseido’s giving out 10 “golden tickets” over the two days at Inside In Style, with winners winning a $115 suncare bag full of Shiseido products! Just pull a sample from the bowl, and cross your fingers that your draw has a little ticket inside. If it doesn’t? Hey, you get a free Shiseido SPF anyway. Can't lose.

South Beach = suncare, suncare, suncare. Protecting your skin from the sun is a must nomatter where you live, of course, but the especially-hot sun down here makes it extra important. Shiseido’s here giving self-tan lessons and dolling out samples of their Sun Protection Cream in SPF 55 and 36 – both of which protect from UVA/UVB rays that cause sunburn, cell damage, dryness, premature aging, you name it. The star ingredients are Xylitol, which retexturizes skin to keep it soft and smooth, and the antioxidant Thiotaurine. Even better: it’s water-resistant, so swim on, my friend. At right: Lisette Bedu, Shiseido's Ft. Lauderdale-based training guru.

The biggest skincare woe we’re hearing from beach-goers: breakouts! Makes sense, it’s tough to sport that teeny-weeny bikini with spotty skin. Peter Thomas Roth has things under control today, though. Their skin-savvy team is rockin’ wrinkle prevention, SPF protection and the like in the Sephora tent, giving product handouts and tutorials to women -- and a few men -- of all ages. The biggest crowd pleasers? PTR’s Un-wrinkle -- a deep wrinkle serum that blends 6 anti-aging peptides and neuropeptides to diminish wrinkles by 58% in 20 days -- and the new SPF brush-on powder, Instant Mineral SPF 30. The powder has willow bark in it, so no need to worry about breakouts from regular sunscreen slathering. “It protects from UVA/UVB rays with titanium dioxide and zinc oxide,” PTR’s Iona Olt (right) said. “And you’ll have a nice, matte finish all day.” Genius.